#1:
'well, the good news is, i broke the record by thirteen and a half minutes. the bad news is you're going to need to ice down my groin for the remainder of the evening.'
#2
'ladies, fortune smiles upon all of you. our long national nightmare is over: i'm finally getting over this pulled groin."
#3
'goddfried, what do you think is the record for most groinpulls on the planet at the same second?'
'come, there is a place i should probably show you.'
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